GEORGE: Because the underwear is pulled up from the back and ... it wedges in..
JERRY: They also have an atomic wedgie. Now the goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. Very rare.
ELAINE: Boys are sick.
JERRY: Well what do girls do?
ELAINE: We just tease some one 'til they develop an eating disorder.
So, we get it. Boys bully boys and girls bully girls. There really are differences between the genders when it comes to these behaviors. Males are more likely to use physical aggression as a means of expressing their bullying behaviors, and girls are much more likely to use verbal and social methods of bullying. So, Elaine was right. Boys and girls really do use different methods. But what happens when boys bully girls or even more stranger, when girls bully boys? From an early age, boys are taught to "pick on someone their own size," so it seems there's already a stigma against boys crossing that gender line. So even guys know not to physically pick on girls, it's just "not fair." But how often are girls told not to use the tools that they're socialized/innately familiar with on the other gender. It seems to me that girls who don't bully boys don't do so because they don't realize that it was an option.
Here is where I come out of the closet and admit that like many other kids, I was bullied. But in my case, the bullying that is the clearest and simultaneously most confusing was that which was visited upon me by girls. The thing is that I never remembered hearing the same prohibition for girls not to bully boys. And when you're a boy who's being made fun of by a girl, it's a lot harder to report it. A male is supposed to be independent and strong. It reminds me of the statement that I once heard a parent say: "How can you be failing ART?!?" Imagine the same incredulity with a statement "how could you be bullied by a GIRL?!?" At least that's what I would imagine being said to me if I ever brought it up.
Because girls tend to use social and verbal methods to bully, I wonder whether they are "attuned" to those who might be more likely to be affected by those methods. How the bullying manifested itself in my case was, it seems, to intentionally shred my self confidence around females. What was said and done is irrelevant and not appropriate to write in a blog post here. However, it has been shown that bullies have an ability to identify victims who are less likely to be defended by their peers and that they bully in packs. That makes sense, and the fact that my experiences of female-on-male bullying were almost always by multiple girls "working together" bears that out. For me, it was very traumatic, but don't worry, I've gotten over it. I worry about the kids who are victims now.
So, what's the point? Why do I bring this up? The reason is that we need to shift our perceptions about what bullying looks like and what we can do about it. As with any subject, we should occasionally question what we "know" to be true. Where does the information about what is "common knowledge" come from? While cross-gender bullying may be comparatively rare, it happens. I have been trying in vain to find good resources for boys or young men who are bullied by girls or young women on the Internet. I can't believe that what happened to me was so unusual that no one has heard of it. If anyone reading this blog has information that they can link to, please write something in the comments and I will update the post.
You are right that girl on boy bullying needs to be addressed. Also,I am a woman but growing up I was slapped by male bullies in middle school a few times. I never had a big problem with bullying but the physical bullying I did get came from boys. You are right that girls bullying boys needs to be addressed. Where I came from if a girl hit a boy it was quite likely the boy would hit her back. I understand that in some cases. If I were a boy and a girl socked me I might hit back as well. In my case, my being hit by boys was unprovoked.
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